The warning signs are there. You have the overwhelming sense that you are in marriage trouble and heading for a midlife crisis. If you are worried your spouse is thinking about asking for a divorce, then this article is for you.
There are 5 reasons your marriage might be in trouble. If any of these sound familiar, begin fixing your marriage as soon as possible.
Reason 1 – Arguing , Arguing, Arguing
The frequency and intensity of your arguments have increased dramatically. You both know it but can’t seem to help yourselves. Unfortunately, this is a clear indication that your marriage might be in trouble. Now is not the time to panic.
So you and your spouse argue a couple of times a week. There’s nothing wrong with that. Every married couple will have disagreements and conflicts from time to time. It’s actually a healthy thing to argue now and then, provided it leads to resolutions and not lingering hard feelings.
The situation becomes more problematic when those arguments become daily occurrences and start to affect your relationship. e.g. You both get angry and start screaming at each other for the third time in a week, just because one of you happens to be 5 minutes late – that’s a problem. Frequent arguments like these seem to make little disagreements into volcanic eruptions. A sure sign your marriage is headed in the wrong direction.
Couples who argue often but otherwise have healthy marriages, tend to solve their problems relatively easily. If you both habitually argue over small issues, you do need to learn how to avoid these useless quarrels. When more important disagreements arise, you don’t have to be uncivil. Try and behave in a civilised and constructive way. Notice how your arguments are more quickly and easily resolved.
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When you stop trying to resolve anything at all, then this is potentially a more serious indication of unhealthy marriage trouble. Let me elaborate..
Reason 2 – No Longer Willing To Resolve Conflict or Find Solutions
Your partner seems to feel finding a solution to your problems is futile and doesn’t seem to care about the outcome of a argument. This can be a sign of deeper troubles.
When this kind of despair sets in, your partner may withdraw even further. They feel as though there will never be a way for the two of you to live together in peace. That’s obviously not a good thing. It’s something that you need to work on if this has become a problem in your marriage.
Reason 3 – Lack of Emotional Connection and Withdrawal of Affection
Is your spouse becoming more distant. This is a strong indication that they’re mentally checking out of the marriage. An overall lack of emotional connection and unwillingness to discuss or show feelings is often associated with this.
In my experience, this is one of the most obvious signs that a marriage is headed in the wrong direction. Usually, though, it’s more a symptom than a root problem. Becoming aware of and making an effort to resolve the core issues of your marriage usually helps re-build the emotional connection with your spouse. You can both begin to show affection for one another again.
If any of these symptoms, as well as some of the others on this list, sound familiar, start taking action today. Stop your marriage deteriorating and prevent a divorce.
Reason 4 – Rarely or Never Having Sex
Sex can be symptom of other problems in your marriage. If you’re always arguing and there’s no emotional connection, then sex is going to disappear too.
It can also be a problem of its own and lead to a marriage crisis – whether it’s caused by fading attraction or a low sex drive.
Either way, a sexless marriage is almost always a marriage on the fast track to divorce. If your spouse seems disinterested in sex or makes excuses, that’s a clear indication of problems.
Reason 5 – Your Spouse is Often Absent and Self-absorbed
Does your spouse stay out late? Are they showing less interest in you, your family and just being together? This may be an indication that they are unhappy with the situation at home. It may also be that they’re mentally preparing for a life away from you. A midlife crisis in the making.
Building a social life or possibly even dating? Thinking about divorce but not actually wanting to? Don’t prematurely accuse your spouse of this just because they’re home less often, but it is a possibility.
To be clear, if you are spending less time together and he seems distant and preoccupied when you are together, then your spouse could be mentally struggling with the decision to end your marriage.
Where to go from here…?
First, let’s make one thing clear. Just because you feel you’re in marriage trouble and these reasons and behaviours are evident, it doesn’t mean that your spouse is definitely planning to file for divorce. It may simply be that these are indicators of trouble ahead in your marriage.
Signals like these will evoke strong feelings. Feelings that things are not okay with your marriage. I encourage you to start turning things around now, before matters get any worse.
The best place to start is by watching this free video by marriage guru Brad Browning. He explains where you’ve been going wrong and what you need to do to make your partner fall back in love with you and maintain midlife calm.