The article was written for women who are dating. My clients have applied it to their varying circumstance – married, divorced, separated or complicated – and have been amazed at how well it works:
Would you like to have real self-confidence? I’m talking about the kind of confidence that is rooted so deep it is literally unshakable.
What if you could use that confidence when you approach the dating scene?Wouldn’t it feel great? Wouldn’t you love to have an unshakable sense of purpose, identity and direction when it comes to meeting and interacting with men? I’d like you to have that confidence and I have a few tips to move you in that direction.
1. Always start with you
If you are absolutely sure of what you want, you won’t feel nervous about making relationship decisions. The more certain you become about what you want in a relationship and a man, the more confidence you will feel about setting boundaries, asking for what you want, or pursuing someone who might or might not reciprocate your interest.
2. Embrace “Failure”
Letting go of fear becomes easier when you accept ‘failure’ as a valuable strategy. How can you succeed by failing more often? Many successful people swear by this method. If you are always cautious and terrified of mistakes, you don’t learn much. People who are willing to embrace failure, lose their fear of taking action.
When it comes to dating and relationships, you will fail sometimes. The only way to be highly confident when dating is to accept failure as a part of the dating process. Don’t think of setbacks and letdowns as something terrible. Instead, embrace failure as something natural that is “okay.” Simply shifting your belief system can dramatically increase your confidence.
3. Negotiate For What You Want
In any relationship, you should negotiate for what you want. Do it in such a way that gives full respect to the other person’s right to walk away rather than agree to your terms. When you know what you want in a relationship, you can talk about it openly. You don’t have to agonise about certain issues like intimacy, moving in, commitment, or spending time together.
Your confidence is high when you already worked out, in your mind, that you would be better off looking for someone more compatible, if he doesn’t agree on certain key issues that matter a lot to you.
4. Attract not Chase
Most women have at least some degree of innate understanding of the factors that attract men. But this article is about SUPER confidence, not mediocre confidence. Let’s say you’ve realised that your choice of mate is the MOST IMPORTANT life decision you can make. Doesn’t that mean you should try to understand your man as deeply as possible?
The problem is that men are mysterious, even to themselves. They often don’t understand their own emotions and desires. This makes it rather difficult to know how to maximally attract them while sidestepping the landmines that can obliterate a relationship, just when it was getting good.
If you’ll allow me to be so bold, I would like to invite you to try something interesting and very valuable. It’s an organizing principle that seems to change the dating game for those who learn about it. It’s called the ‘Respect Principle’, and if you’d like to learn more about it, I’ve shared a free presentation on the topic below.
Confidence comes naturally to those who have a strong sense of certainty. I want to support you as you develop self-confidence and the skills to attract quality men into your life.